The Time I Deleted My Entire Blog (and Why I'm Back)
Things have been quiet on my blog for a long time and you're due for an explanation.
When I launched Kindred Cinema to the world in August 2017, I was fresh off of a branding makeover. Some of you who've been following me from the very beginning know my business used to look a little different and was called Golden Hope Studios. On the GHS website, I poured my heart out into blogging. Although I never had many readers, I didn't care. I just loved writing everything out. It helped me process, think, and grow. And I hoped that even if one person stumbled across my website, that they would be encouraged.
Unfortunately, when I launched Kindred Cinema in 2015, I decided (against my heart) that the best route was forgoing a blog that took up time I thought I needed to invest elsewhere. Not only did I purposefully choose to not blog, I also (very foolishly and hastily) made a decision to start completely fresh... and I deleted my entire Golden Hope Studios site, including all of the blogs I had written in the past.
I bought into the idea that blogs weren't beneficial to every business and in doing so, lost part of what made me... me.
I'm the girl who loves to read. Voraciously. Reading from an early age taught me the love story of language and I became obsessed with the written word. As soon as I could draw out a shaky letter, I was writing books and diary entries and eventually some (awful, dramatic) teenage poetry. Today I still love reading (young adult fiction is still my favorite) and love to journal, blog privately, and write poems about the seasons of my life. In fact, I'm in the process compiling some of my favorite works into a printed book just for me, to hold and remember always.
Why, then, did I ever decide to stop blogging if it lit me up so much inside?
I think I did it out of the pressure to conform. I think I believed that conformity and following another leader's formula would make me successful.
Turns out, it won't.
Diversity is not only a beautiful thing, it's a NEEDED thing. How many times have I encouraged my clients to be brave and face their fears of being on camera because the world NEEDS what they have to offer? SO MANY TIMES. And yet I can't take my own advice?
I want that to change.
I want to step into my OWN genius.
Yes, I want help. Yes, I want to seek guided counsel as I work on my business. And yes, I still believe deeply that I need mentors and accountability partners I can trust.
But I think I'm also learning that I need to trust my own gut, too.
So I'm back. Because I love the written word and because I have things to say. I am refreshed, awakened, inspired, motivated, and healed through the writing of others and through writing about my own experiences. And because I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.
I am clinging tight to the hope that there is just ONE person out there that needs to read my words. I'm writing not for the sake of applause or an ego boost, but because if I can be that safe space... that tender place... that uplifting and encouraging place... I'll know I've done what I was put on earth to do.
I was put here to love and serve and give by the One who loved me first. And I'm hoping that I take after him.
So, words of my heart, rise up! God, breathe life into this writer's heart! Send ears ready to hear and eyes ready to see and hearts ready to feel!
Let me be a healing balm, a safe place, an encourager to the broken, and one who points back to You, who loves us most.
Let my words be a testimony to Your faithfulness and Your great, audacious love for us.
Amen. Let it be so.